Only Stories Have Plots
by Blueezy
Summary: A series of unrelated One-shots starring Shikamaru and Ino, sometimes featuring other couples. The stories might be humorous, full of angst, and etc. I've decided to stick all none rated R one-shots here. Shikaino ! yeah!
1. Grotesque Parody Of Romantic Comedy

People who know my fics are probably wondering why I'm starting yet another new story instead of finishing my old one. Well..it's cuz the mood has struck me and...eh heh.

Hey Gentlewatersoul, if you happen to stumble upon this fic of mine, I just wanna say "gomen" for not updating Gambare Shikamaru. I haven't been in the mood for that fic. Yurushite ne?

This might be a one shot it might not and it's written in a way very different from my usual style.

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Ch. 1 Grotesque Parody Of Romantic Comedy 

(Shikamaru's POV)

Have you ever had one of those 'brain-disconnected-from-body' kinds of moment? It's only occurred to me once in my short lifetime, thus far at least—but once is enough to have me living in mortal fear that my body would operate on its own once again, by sidestepping the crucial checkpoint that is my mind. No one wants to seem like a fool, so imagine how a so-called "genius" would feel about running down the street in a fit of madness. Exactly twenty-four months, five days, seven hours, two minutes, and seventeen seconds ago, I had a conversation that would endure to this day in the realm of my nightmares.

The day the embarrassment occurred, its date made unforgettable by the humiliation that forever highlighted a specific bracket on my mental calendar, started out normal enough surprisingly. But days when disaster is fated to take place rarely has the stereotypical foreshadowing of cloudy skies and treacherous rain. I don't know who's bright idea it was to decide that it was the job of nature to reflect the misfortune of man with the proper signs of forewarning, but it certainly isn't so in real life—no matter how many times writers make it so in their literature.

On that peaceful day of floating blossoms being carried off by gentle winds, I was only a boy at the tender age of sixteen who was enjoying his youth by sleeping it away under the shades of an oak tree. I had thought the spot I chose was far enough from the city for some quiet tranquility, and deep enough in the green fields to make searching for me take real effort, but I should've remembered that Ino has the uncanny ability to find me no matter where I'm hiding—that's why I never liked playing hide-and-seek with her as a kid. She ALWAYS found my hiding spots and effectively kept me from my naps. That habit of hers hasn't changed since childhood because to this day, she thwarts almost all my attempts to snooze but that's an entirely different story.

So going back to the memories of that day, I was lying on my back from my place beneath a leafy oak tree with my arms folded behind my head like a pillow. My eyes were barely opened as I enjoyed the performance of the dancing beams of light that broke through the thick mass of leaves like the twinkling of burning stars. All was well when suddenly, a person dropped down from the branches above—her blond hair rippled in the air as she fell, like waves of sunshine and those shiny reflective paper that people stick on their bikes. Deceptively, she had the appearance of a gentle angel, one that tripped on her white robes and fell through the clouds of heaven down to the plain earth where the mortals dwell, but I knew better than to let what my eyes see overrule years of experience that came from dealing with this so-called angel.

Immediately, I shut my eyes and pretended to be asleep in hopes that she would see I was unconscious and leave me alone—but Ino wasn't the type courteous enough to leave resting people in peace. If she was awake and energetic, gods forbid anyone else get a little shuteye.

Still lying there, I remained limp when I felt her hands grab the front of my jacket, and ignored it when her slender fingers dug into the flesh of my chest as her grip tightened on the cloth. She shook me like a doll, and so like a doll, I placidly let her swing me to-and-fro and up-and-down as she tried to wake me. I wasn't in the mood to give up immediately, so I scrunched my eyelids together even tighter and pathetically tried to continue my farce. Then Ino slapped me a few times, leaving my face burning with the afterglow of her 'tender caresses'. Isn't she just the sweetest and most feminine girl there is? If you can't tell, I'm being sarcastic. So anyways, after remaining complacent for about ten minutes of physical torture, I finally opened my eyes and gave her a glare that she barely noticed. I had opened my mouth to grumble at her but she beat me by delivering her message first.

"I'm marrying Sasuke-kun tomorrow!" She told me while fidgeting with barely contained glee.

Oh yes, I know what you're thinking because it was what I was thinking—Like that would ever happen. Maybe when pigs fly, when Naruto starts to hate ramen, and when Uchiha's perfect complexion breaks into a pimply rash. I snorted at her and closed my eyes again.

Ino loitered near me for a while but since she had already delivered her message, she had no reason to stay long. My stillness must have bored her because she nudged me a few times with her feet then left when I didn't move. Hearing the sounds of her footstep move further and further away before finally disappearing, I breathed a sigh of relief. Finally freed from her overbearing company, I thankfully allowed myself to fall asleep.

I paid no more attention to her declaration until the next day when I noticed that a strange mood had come over the Konoha citizens of my generation. Whispering and giggling, girls chatted amongst themselves in the streets and I managed to catch a few fleeting words of "temple", "Sasuke-kun", and the word that horrified me because of the other words that it was paired with, "Ino". Forgetting myself, I ran to the group of girls and grabbed one of them. She gave me the dirtiest look but I was used to dirty looks from girls, and sometimes from boys too.

"What's this about Ino and Sasuke that you're talking about?" I asked anxiously.

Upon hearing the names, the girls forgot to glare at me like I was a rotting bug and dissolved into giggles again. I sent glares to each of the girls because their annoying sounds of high-pitched chortling were starting to give me a headache. Already forgetting my presence, the girls started to chat with each other again.

"Isn't Sasuke-kun so handsome in his black wedding kimono? Ino is soooo lucky!" One girl squealed to another.

"Oh yes!" That girl gushed right back, "But did you see Ino's outfit? Oh my god she looked like a princess! Now I know why they picked her. I'm sooo envious! I wish I could go watch them and take some pictures."

My heart was starting to jump irregularly and my head whipped back and forth from the two girls with a look of bewilderment. "Where's Ino?!" I demanded to know, and wondered when the hell the girls were going to pay some damn attention to me.

A short girl whose other features I forgot scowled at me and told me that I didn't need to know because I wasn't welcomed there anyways. Like hell I'm not. I knew it was my job to save Ino from the biggest mistake of her life.

"Tell me!" I yelled at the group again and they started to look at me wearily. I think they were starting to see that I was serious by my expression. Oh, and I also had the shadow beneath my feet trembling and stretching in a threatening manner if you care to know.

One of the girls tilted up her chin and looked down at me even though she was shorter. In a tense voice that burned like acid, she told me in the rudest possible way, I won't elaborate what she said, that Ino and Sasuke were at Hachiyou no Tera. I could've slapped myself when I heard the answer. Where else would a girl who probably stereotypically dreamed of a large wedding be? I immediately ran down the street, heading towards the temple as fast as I could.

As I tore down the path, knocking unfortunate people out of my way, I swore loudly in fury. I couldn't believe how Ino was so stupid to believe in Sasuke's false promises. He wasn't worthy of her and I knew being with him would only bring her unhappiness. Besides, she was only sixteen! She was too young for marriage! Well, technically she was legal, but didn't the guy have to be at least eighteen?! Anyways, I'm getting off topic.

So I'm running like evil sand-nins were nipping at my heels—working my legs, which were unfamiliar to any pace other than that of a lazy stroll, into lean-mean-running-machines, when the temple finally came into view. With the wooden doors gaping wide open, Ino who was standing in the center of the temple was perfectly aligned with the gateway for my unobstructed viewing pleasure. Clothed in blindingly white, ironed fabric—starched to flat perfection and arranged in a way for maximum aesthetic appeal, I thought Ino looked like a giant white tent. It was a sight I never wanted to see again unless she was standing next to ME when she is dressed like that.

The pumping of my legs slowed into a bobbing jog as I approached the largest, most luxurious temple of Konoha—then finally, my speed became a sluggish crawl of faltering footsteps. Ino was.....if you tell anyone I'll make sure no one finds your parts.....Ino was so pretty. I was completely distracted by the hint of blond hair beneath the white hood that rested over her head when Sasuke ruined the stunning image by stepping into view next to Ino.

That must have been the exact moment when my brain was usurped by reflex and my body became autonomous. I knew I was yelling something as I charged into the temple but at the moment, I couldn't hear what was coming out of my own mouth. I was blind to the world and the only thing I could see was Sasuke's paws clasped over Ino's small hands.

When Ino saw me, she gasped and backed away as if _I_ was the one she should be suspicious of. I imagine I must've looked like a wild man with the way I was acting. Marching up to her, I was lecturing her so heatedly that foamy bits of spittle was flying from my mouth. I bellowed at her for agreeing to be Sasuke's baby-machine because that was all he was using her for. I declared that Uchiha had no feelings for anyone and he only wanted someone to help him re-populate his clan. As I advanced towards Ino who was frozen in what I guessed was shock, I felt hands grab onto me and I fought them off. Swinging my arms wildly, I felt my fists connect with solid punches against faces I didn't see.

Sasuke flicked a disgusted look at me with his dark eyes but otherwise looked composed. Seeing how he was acting like the 'happy occasion' didn't directly involve him only served to fan the flames of my wrath. Running to him, I was fully prepared to mar his pretty-boy face for daring to risk Ino's happiness when I was jarred out of my fit of rage with a resounding slap that sent me careening to my side. Feeling my face swelling into a red patch that will eventually darken into a large, dark bruise, I looked up to see Ino with her arm still raised.

"What. The. Hell. Are. You. Doing. ?" Ino asked me quietly with her voice trembling in cold rage.

I opened my mouth in readiness to tell her that Sasuke was a mistake, that she needed a man who would cherish her, a man with infinite patience for her antics, a man like me, when I noticed for the first time, the strange lighting in the temple. The room was glowing with an unnatural illumination—too bright to be from the windows and too white to be from the ceiling lamps. Suddenly, I realized that I saw blinking flashes and heard the whirring of machines along with the sounds of strange clicking which prompted me to look around.

Lined all around the walls of the temple were various equipments and shadowy images of people who were obscured by the round spots of white lights that came from professional photography lamps. Unsteadily, I rose to my feet and felt a shattering crunch under my shoes. I looked down to see the broken remains of a camera and looked up to see the bruised and bleeding face of the man who probably owned the camera.

Sorry Mr. Photographer-man, I didn't mean to beat you up during my rampage.

Sheepishly, I shrugged at Ino whose face was a deformed mask that showed her murderous intent plainly. I wasn't completely sure what was going on yet but I was beginning to get an idea. Before I could even begin to apologize, Ino grabbed the fabric of her dress and hiked it up to a level that revealed her thighs. Even with doom lurking overhead, I couldn't help but ogle her firm legs before she proceeded to kick the brains out of me. Ten minutes later, her legs tired so she switched to punching. For a girl with tiny stick arms, she made me feel like someone was ramming a bat into my guts over and over again.

Anyways, lucky for me, she lost interest in beating my half-dead carcass after about fifteen minutes, even though it felt more like an hour to me, and ended up helping me up from the ground. She then proceeded to explain to me in detail on how I had ruined her mission. Apparently, some sort of world-renowned fashion designer was creating a new line of wedding dresses and hired Konoha ninjas as models to promote the brand. Naturally, Tsunade-sama picked the most beautiful girl and the....ahem.... "best looking guy" in Konoha to fulfill the client's wish.

Feeling rather mortified, I cautiously looked around to survey my situation and saw nasty glares from the photographers, and those guys who were in charge of filming the false wedding ceremony. They were all pissed off—especially the ones injured from their attempt to prevent me from ruining their ideal shot. My idiocy had destroyed rolls of film and wasted more En than I can count. Oops.

Since I'm dead broke and couldn't possibly pay them for the damages incurred by yours truly, Tsunade ended up making Ino and Sasuke do the work for the client pro bono. I can understand why Ino would be furious about not getting paid but I don't know why Sasuke was all bent out of shape. As the sole survivor of the famous Uchiha clan, the riches of all his family goes to him, therefore I think he was just being greedy.

Oh by the way, the designer WAS _'kind'_ enough to leave Ino and I a copy of the filmed debacle on tape. I had immediately tried to destroy the visual evidence of my display of uncharacteristic illogicalness but Ino and mom were faster. Ino ran home with her copy of the tape and to this day, I haven't managed to get my hands on it. As for my mom, well, mom plays the tape at every major occasion—birthdays, New Years, Valentines, and whenever she's in the mood or if guests were visiting. I tried to destroy that copy too but you would never believe the number of traps my mom puts around the shelf.

I'm such a fool. I'll never let my feelings rule me again. No. Never. That's why I'm not going to help Ino harvest the flowers in the fields today. It's HER job so why should I? Stupid troublesome woman... I don't care how many times she's begged me, she's the Yamanaka not me. It's not like I owed her since she's never helped me herd my family's deer. I don't care that she's complaining that the work is hard...mendokusee....or if she's in pain because she's on her period..yakkai na koto...or that she might have to work from dawn to dusk because she procrastinated her work until today. That's her business. It's not like I'm her personal slave. I'm my own man.

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Still rationalizing all the reasons why it was unnecessary for him to go to Ino's aid, Shikamaru picked up a pair of gardening shears, a bucket, then headed out to the fields owned by the Yamanakas.

Owari ??? (I don't know. This might be my first one shot...or maybe it's not...We'll see)

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Hachiyou no Tera: eight leaf temple

En: yen

Yakkai na koto: troublesome thing

To tell the truth, I didn't intend this to be a one shot because I had other plans for this fic. But then again, I've never written a one-shot before...so this could be my first. I guess it depends on the popularity. If people like it I might continue.


	2. Games We Play

Random short story that I didn't spend too much time on. From now on, whenever I'm in a mood for some random Shikaino fic, It'll probably be posted as part of this collection. I think the tenses are a bit confused in this fic but I don't think it's a real problem because its supposed to be Ino's crazy ranting and spoken English is rarely proper. That and writing is my weak point.

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Title: Games We Play

Ino POV

As a child, I thought that if I screamed loud enough, cried long enough, and/or looked pitiful enough, I could get anything I desired. It was a tried-and-true belief. I generally almost always got what I wanted from my parents. Once in a while mom would get into her disciplinarian mood and be unyielding to my wishes, but I knew I could always get dad to crack by allowing my eyes to swim with tears as I gaze forlornly at him with doe-like eyes.

As a teen, I thought that if I was conniving enough, dressed sexy enough, and/or carried a tirade long enough, I could get anything I desired. It was a tried-and-true belief. I generally almost always got what I wanted from those around me. With a wink and a nudge, I could get boys my age to do my chores for me or buy for me what I couldn't afford myself. And with my endless diatribes, I often irritated Asuma-sensei into compromising with me, the course of Team Ten's training when I was in too lazy a mood to do hard physical work.

Nowadays as an adult, I believe that if I were motivated enough, hardworking enough, and dedicated enough to my duties, I can get all that is desirable in one's life. True to my calculations, meticulously written up reports and deftly carried out missions guaranteed my ascension up the totem pole of ninja hierarchy. I started out as an academy student so many years ago and now, I'm a candidate for the next captain of Anbu. I'm still young and beautiful and men, unvaryingly, continue to cast longing looks my way. I have trustworthy friends and a loving family. The various beliefs I harbored at the different stages of my life were tried-and-true and those were the beliefs that made my life into the model of perfect contentment it is today. The tactics I used, whether crying when I was a toddler, raising hell when I was in my girlhood, and working hard as a grown-up, always gained me the attention from those I sought to attract. Everyone fell victim to my methodology. Except for Nara Shikamaru.

He who has known me throughout the various phases of my course to adulthood is also the only one who is immune to my wily ways. Don't get me wrong. He always performs what I tell him to carry out. I would scream and wave a fist; he would utter 'hai hai' plus some muttering under his breath, and grudgingly obey my command. That's the way it's always been. That's the way it still is now. But despite the way he always gave in to my demands, I can't help but suspect that he only did so because he felt I wasn't worth the argument; that I wasn't worth his time or further attention. Maybe the fastest way, in his opinion, to get rid of me was to comply with my orders.

His apathetic attitude towards me started out as a mild annoyance but gradually pooled in strength until it was an inextricable feeling of unnamable discontent that irritated my every waking moment and most of my nights. For the life of me, I just can't figure out why he never looks at me the way other men do, why he pays me no thought, why he carries on like he's the only entity in this vast universe and I'm but a mere passing dust in his vicinity. He makes me feel confused and from my mess of tangled emotions, the ultimate sentiment that eventually dominated the others is: obsession.

For once in my life, _I_ was the one casting guarded glances at an unaware target instead of being the object of admiration. Lurking in the Jounin lounge, I would pretend to read reports when in actuality, I was peering over the papers to scrutinize the annoyed look on Shikamaru's face while he napped on the color faded couch that sat in the middle of the room. During meetings, I would fix my eyes downwards as if in intense meditation when in reality, I was concentrating on the polished surface of the dark oak table that reflected the serious expression Shikamaru maintained when his mind was focused on duties. The day I tried to spy on him while he changed his bloodstained shirt (not his blood) to something unsoiled was the day I realized with increasing alarm, that I no longer could keep myself from watching him.

Sometimes when I'm watching him, my heart would get this irregular beat that felt uncomfortable in my chest. For a while, I was honestly worried that I had a heart murmur and I even went to Tsunade-sama for a physical check up. Lucky for me, the Hokage declared me to be in perfect health but she _did _warn me to cut back on my salts. So I obeyed the doctor's orders and reduced my sodium chloride intake, and continued to observe Shikamaru in secrecy even though I knew I shouldn't.

I struggled to break the bad habit but it was like my eyes had become magnetize to the point of attraction that was he. And he continued to draw me towards him; plaguing my thoughts and haunting my nights with dreams that I can't recall in the morning. My obsession continued to escalate; up to the point when I became so desperate that I started to stage 'accidental meetings' with him at the most random of places. Oh god, he's not even good looking! I want to blame him for my jumbled emotions but I know I can't because he has never once encouraged my fixation. I don't think he's even really smiled at me before.

After some careful deliberation, I came to the conclusion that the only way to cure myself of this insidious disease that was Shikamaru-mania, was to catch his eye and turn the tables on our positions; make him the crazy obsessed one and I the one that had trapped his awareness with the aura of my charm. The source of the problem was the fact that he never paid me any superfluous attention so I knew how to cut this infection out of me from the root it developed. I immediately started the procedure that was necessary to hopefully relieve me of my ailment.

While other men would do unspeakable things to get such an offer from me, I had to beg, wheedle, and finally threaten before Shikamaru agreed to go bathing suit shopping with me. Dragging him to the stores, I knew that I was on the path of healing and it felt good. Shikamaru was of course, swearing under his breath. I caught random words like "mendokusee" and other things I don't care to repeat.

Upon walking into the trendy shop, I snatched the skimpiest swimsuit off the rack and danced into a changing room. In the little box-like space, my glee shifted to trepidation when I tried to put on the swimsuit and saw, or rather felt, how little material it had. But I was filled with gumption. Ignoring my embarrassment, I slipped on the little red thing that covered my crotch with a narrow triangular patch and pulled the 'string' that was supposed to pass as my top, over my breasts. Really, it only covered the nipples.

I looked a bit nervously at the long vertical mirror that hung on the wall and staring back at me, was the reflection of someone that was either a scarlet woman or a porn star. It's not that I'm prudish. I wear enough miniskirts and edgy tank tops to show that I'm proud of my body. But the swimsuit was a bit too much for me, which is why I knew I HAD to wear it in front of Shikamaru. If he were indeed a red-blooded male, this would catch his attention. If it didn't, then it was time to reconsider his sexuality. So with a swagger in my full hips, I sauntered out of the dressing room like some practiced exotic dancer, ready to fend off a wolfish and horny Shikamaru once his eyes have landed on my body.

Imagine my disappointment when I found him asleep in a guest seat. Legs propped up on a small bench, head lolled in an awkward angle, he slept peacefully on even though his large frame was forced unwillingly into a wobbling too small chair. I tried to wake him up. I slapped his cheeks a few times, lightly with the palm of my hands, but he waved me away reflexively in his unconsciousness. "Shikamaru!" I had growled at him, "Open your eyes and check out what I'm wearing!"

He moaned a bit, a steady trickle of drool dribbled from the corner of his lips, before he raised the eyelid of one of his eyes with what seemed to be all his strength. I struck my sexy pose but received no response. Irritated, I leaned towards the unresponsive Shikamaru to see why my nearly nudity failed to elicit even the merest of gasp. Looking into his one open eye, I was greeted by the whites of his eyeball instead of the black pupil that allowed sight. He was still asleep. Frustrated, I was forced to admit that in round one, the score was: Shikamaru-01 Me-00

The next plot I used involved making Shikamaru jealous. I told Kiba to take me out on a date and he was too stupid to say no. He's a great guy actually, really sweet and completely devoted to Hinata who took no notice of him but I digress. Kiba is friendly, extremely good looking, and has a hulking fame full of muscles that declared to the world his style of fighting. He was the type of guy that made most other men feel insecure about themselves, therefore he was the perfect tool in my little scheme. Besides, he was a safe guy as in I wasn't interested in him and he wasn't interested in me.

The night of my date with Kiba started off with a prelude of my flaunting the social occasion in Shikamaru's face. I picked a nice little skirt that swished around my hips with each step and a tight little top that accentuated my full bosom. Then, I practically pranced around Shikamaru as I declared to him, how far I intended to let Kiba get with me, not that he would ever try to get into my panties. But Shikamaru didn't know that. I told him: "I think I'll let Kiba go all the way with me tonight." You want to know what Shikamaru said to me? He said "Whatever. Use a condom woman or you'll get pregnant." Then Naruto came by and Shikamaru left with him to get some ramen, leaving me behind to wallow in my mortification.

When Kiba came to pick me up at the Jounin lounge, he found me pale-faced and frozen in anger. He was about to turn and flee before I caught him by his arm. "Where are we going tonight?" I gritted through my teeth, the death grip I had on him tightened. Looking rather nervous, Kiba tugged uncomfortably at the collar of his suit and told me that he had reservations at this nice seafood place that he thought I'd like.

"We're not going to the seafood place." I declared, ignoring his looks of puzzlement. "We're going to Ichiraku."  
  
"You want to go to the ramen stand?!" Kiba looked even more mystified than before. "I thought women liked nice restaurants on dates...."

"Well I like ramen!" I snapped at him, feeling a bit guilty afterwards. How was he to know that I needed to go to Ichiraku so I could put up a show in front of Shikamaru?

So we get to Ichiraku and sure enough, Naruto was busy slurping a jumbo-sized bowl of miso ramen while the target I was trailing was picking leisurely at his smaller bowl of half-eaten noodles. I casually picked the seat next to Shikamaru and flashed him an ingratiating smile, before I pulled Kiba down into the empty seat on my other side. "So Kiba, you never _did_ finish that wonderfully charming joke. So what happens afterwards?" I asked the poor puppet of my plan in a sultry tone.  
  
Bewildered, he looked around panic-stricken. "But I wasn't telling a joke." He cautiously told me. Of course I know that! But I needed to show Shikamaru that our date was going great and he wasn't on my mind at all! Angrily, I pinched Kiba in the fleshy part of his inner thigh when no one was looking.

"O-OW HEY! WHAT THE-" He started to exclaim. The cold glare from my blue-flame eyes silenced him and he started to stutter.

"So...um....A priest, a monk, and a dog walks into a bar."

"Ohhhh do tell me more" I batted my lashes at him. Facing my blatant flirtations, Kiba turned mildly green in the face to my great displeasure.

"And they order some sake..."  
  
"And then?" I graced him with my soul-sucking smile.

"And then....I forgot...."  
  
Naruto started laughing, Shikamaru yawned, I seethed, and the date was over; not because I dumped Kiba immediately even though I should as punishment for his idiocy, but because Hinata walked by and his tongue practically fell out of his skull.

For all the troubles I've caused Kiba, my conscience demanded that I do something for him to thank him for his assistance, in spite of the fact that he was a dumbass who couldn't follow a script. "Hinata!" I waved at her as I called out. The white-eyed beauty whose soft hair I envied looked up surprised and squeaked out a weak hello.

Kiba suddenly stood from his seat, eyes wide with fear and other emotions. "This isn't how it looks!" He cried out, as if Hinata had noticed how it looked. Gentle as always, she merely cocked her head and gave dogboy a serene albeit baffled smile. "We're not really on a date!" He yelled at her. "I-I...I...." His face turned red, like he was about to burst because he had to tell Hinata something that was so sensitive in nature that he couldn't bring himself to say it.

I decided that it was time for me to step in and give the two destined lovers a push in the right direction. So I pushed Kiba, and sent him stumbling towards Hinata until he almost crashed into her. "HE'S IN LOVE WITH YOU!" I screamed, the statement of Kiba's shattered secret echoed in the night. Then like a true superhero, I disappeared into an elaborate cloud of nin smoke, leaving the two; one embarrassed man and one astonished girl to figure out the mess on their own.

So here I am now, three days after that incident, still alone, and still not making a bleep on Shikamaru's radar. I really think I should give up because I'm beginning to see that my efforts are futile. Shikamaru is Shikamaru and I doubt anyone can capture his heart. Did I say heart? I meant to say attention. What? Stop looking at me like that! Don't forget that I'm a very skilled ninja and I can make you very sorry if you dare to say anything! Yea...that's right...you back away now...

Anyways, I've about accepted the fact that Shikamaru will never be interested in...my matters. He'll be around when I need help, he'll do what I tell him to do, and we'll still see each other around because even if we're not friends, we're still very familiar acquaintances. Honestly, he seems happier meeting Chouji than me. What a weirdo.

For some reason, my decision to give up filled me with an inexplicable sense of loss, which is absurd because I didn't lose anything. My relationship with Shikamaru is still the same as it was when we first met. But still, I've been feeling different recently, as in kind of sick. I've been bit listless, been having trouble sleeping, and gained an annoying tendency of spacing out at the most inopportune times. Others have noticed the change in my demeanor and asked me about it but not Shikamaru. If he's picked up on my recent for-the-worse adjustments, he didn't feel inclined to comment. And it's kind of making me angry. How come he hasn't lavished me with questions of concern? Is he so self-centered that he didn't notice his CHILDHOOD FRIEND hasn't been herself for some time?

All my ranting was waking my long dormant feeling of rage and I wanted to lash out at someone. I grabbed the phone and immediately started dialing a familiar number without even looking at the number keys. The phone rang about fifteen times and no one picked up. I dialed the number again, punching the keys furiously with viciously jabbing fingers. After my third try, someone finally picked up on the other end after about ten impatient trills of the phone.

"......moshimoshi?" His sleepy voice drawled out after a moment's pause.

"SHIKAMARU YOU BASTARD! COME TO MY HOUSE NOW!" I was screaming and my unexpected wrath probably alarmed him. I know I'm embarrassing myself but it was too late to stop now.

The silence from the part of the phone pressed against my ear was making me worried and even more infuriated than before. "HELLO?! ARE YOU THERE?" I was practically shrieking into the receiver, I was so mad at him.

"..................Yea I'm here." He finally replied, sounding uninterested but more awake than before.

Taking a deep breath, I started to talk with some composure. "Come over now. I need to talk to you in person." Before he could respond, I hung up on him. After our brief phone chat, I felt amazingly lighter. It was like this weight I didn't even know existed was lifted from my chest, and floated away into nothingness. A drop of warm liquid fell on my hand and I looked up startled, worrying that there was a leak in my roof. From what I could tell, the ceiling looked fine. I couldn't see clearly because there were tears in my eyes. I'm so stupid that I didn't even notice I was crying. But since I already started crying, I might as well do it right. Before I knew it, I was wailing at the top of my lungs and sobbing into handfuls of crumpled tissue paper. I don't know how long I carried on like that but my self-pity fest was cut short by a rap on my front door.

Frantically yanking more tissues out of the tissue box, I wiped desperately at my face but not before the doorknob turned and Shikamaru let himself into my apartment. He stared at me, face carefully blank; his hand still clutching the brass knob of the door. Completely flustered, I pretended that I wasn't bawling my eyes out just moments before and glared at him.

He gave me one more look with his dark eyes that expressed shielded thoughts, then closed the door and strolled over to a chair where he flopped down lazily. He didn't say anything because he was waiting expectantly for me to start talking first. Wiping a trickle of snot from under my nose with a folded tissue paper, I wondered where I should begin. "I have a cold." I told him.

Although his face was impassive, his black eyes were watching me with searing intensity. "......sure." He replied, amiably letting my pitiful lie go through.

Unsure what to say next, I silently berated myself for not thinking my actions through before I allowed myself to call him in a fit of fury. Finally, after wringing five new tissues into a mangled mass in my hands, I sighed and started to speak.

"I give up." I told him in a reserved, hushed voice. He raised one of his eyebrows.

I tossed the tissues in my hands to my right side where it landed flawlessly into a trash bin. Then I started elaborate what I said before. "I've been trying and trying to get you to pay attention to me. You never smile at me. You always say I'm troublesome. We've known each other forever but you've never gone out of your way to hang out with me. We only meet when we happen to have obligations that coincide with each other's schedule. Why won't you notice me? Everybody else does."

Shikamaru's lips slowly curved into a deliberate smirk. Slinging one leg over the other, he sat with his legs crossed and continued to stare at me, waiting for me to continue. The smugness he exuded was starting to piss me off.

"What the hell is wrong with you?! Aren't we at least friends? So how come you never greet me cheerfully when we run into each other?! I know you and Chouji hang out a lot so how come you've never invited me along to your outings!? Is it because I'm the girl of the team? Is that why you feel compelled to ignore me?! I've always noticed you! I've always snuck glances at you so HOW COME I'VE NEVER CAUGHT YOU LOOKING MY WAY!" I was hysterical and I knew this event would haunt me for the rest of my life. Twenty years from now, recalling this moment would probably still cause shame to burn brightly on my face.

"Maybe it's because I want you to notice me instead." His voice was so quiet, so relaxed that it almost didn't even register with me.

"What?"

"I didn't want to be the guy chasing after something too good for him. Throwing myself at you would only make a woman such as yourself take me for granted, so instead, I decided to make you notice me." The features of Shikamaru's face were so tender that I had some trouble recognizing him.

"But...but...." I didn't know what I wanted to say.

He grinned at me, a real smile that was probably the first for him directed at anyone. "It worked didn't it?" He sounded amused. "I'm a patient man and I can calculate the progress of a plan over a span of many years."

I sat in my seat, utterly amazed with his inhuman intelligence and struggling to understand how our situation had come to be. I was so preoccupied that I didn't notice Shikamaru had rose from his seat and was walking my way. His warm hand on my shoulder snapped me from my shock and I looked up at him in awe.

"Shikamaru......."

Bending down at me, he took advantage of my position and gave me my first kiss, silencing my thoughts and replacing the ebbing ache in my heart with warmth. I felt new tears rise in my eyes but those were liquids of happiness. His lips were warm and smooth, tasting faintly of candy. I broke our contact and started to laugh. "I didn't know you liked sweets!" I exclaimed.

Hands holding onto me, he lifted me from my chair with his strong arms. "You don't know a lot of things about me." He replied good-naturedly with a playful light in his eyes. "Would you like to find out more about what kind of person I am?"

I nodded eagerly, nuzzling into the warmth of his chest and with my roaming hands, felt the ridges of muscles that lined his sides through his thin fishnet shirt. His arms looped around me and tightened protectively, and I learned that I loved the feeling of being small and safe under his protection.

"Wanna go to the yakiniku place?" He asked, his voice vibrated like baritone drums through his chest and into my ear that was pressed against his body. I nodded voicelessly.

I wasn't angry with him anymore and I don't blame him for the cruel tactic he used to get my attention. We all have our methods and his happened to be superior to mine. The brief five-minute meeting in my house allowed me a glimpse into his soul and I knew he was the guy I could trust for the rest of my life. Joy burst forth from me in the form of bubbling laughter and I ignored the embarrassed blush on Shikamaru's face when I snuggled even more against him as we walked down the street. People were commenting on what a cute couple we made when I suddenly remembered something important. "Shika? I forgot to lock my door!" I shouted.

"So what? Who'll rob a house in a ninja village?" He grunted at me.

"But it's a matter of principal!" I protested "We have to go back so I can lock my door."

"You're so troublesome." He groused halfheartedly, already turning around to head back to my apartment.

"No YOU'RE troublesome" I retorted to aggravate him on purpose.

"Mendokusee..."

"I'm rubber you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you." I grinned cheekily at him.

"Whatever...." Came his mumbled response.

Walking together back to my home, I continued to bother him with inane questions and bothersome comments. He shrugged most of what I said off because he knew I was a bit sore that he had played me for a fool for so many years. His amazing tolerance for my idiosyncratic habits only made me fall in love with him even more. I think we'll be fine from now on. Although we're complete opposites, we strangely complete each other by compensating for each other's weaknesses.

Strolling unhurriedly down the stone-paved path with the fingers of my right hand interlaced with Shikamaru's, the orange sun was setting in the distant horizon and I felt like I was in a cheesy badly written romance novel by a novice author who had no experience in love. But what the hey, as long as I get my happy ending.

OWARI (T-T why did Ino have to insult me?)

* * *

Moshimoshi: hello used for phone conversations.

I wrote this hurriedly without spending much thought on it. The idea just sorta occurred to me LOL.


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